Hatchet ( 2006 ) – Are Top Slasher Movies DEAD?

Top Slasher Movies

Click For Access – Hatchet [Blu-ray] [2006] [US Import]

Adam Green’s Hatchet was billed as one of the top slasher movies ever made but is it really that good? I have to be honest – an opening scene of Robert Englund trying his best to be a hick redneck did not exactly fill me with confidence.

But Hatchet is a well respected indie horror movie so I had little choice but to sit through it and see what it had to offer. After all there are some pretty positive reviews on the film floating about…..

Oh No Robert!!!

Even though this was not Mr. Englund’s finest hour I was still a little disappointed to see him gutted up within the first five minutes. Still getting him to star in a cameo role was pretty impressive especially in a homage to top slasher movies.

The first scene was pretty much set up to show us what we were in for….and I bet more than one person got up and walked out of the cinema LOL.

I didn’t mind it so much as I grew up through the ‘buckets of blood’ era of the 80’s. We are treated to a nice section of violent gore before the credits even roll.

The 80’s

The idea of basing a film made in 2006 on the top slasher movies of the 1980’s is quite a bold move but was it a necessary move?

When the title credits hit us we a confronted with a John Carpenter type theme tune to go along with them. It may of been on purpose but this intro section seemed very cheap and cheesy!

Mardi Gras

So the opening credits are over and we find ourselves in New Orleans during the Mardi Gras. I was pretty pleased to see Joel Moore as one of the lead characters in the film as I was very impressed with him in Spiral ( Adam Green’s second, much more impressive film! ).

So Mr. Moore heads a group of curious individuals who head off into the swamp for a haunted tour ( what could go wrong eh? ). The story is pretty much lacking like most of the 80’s slasher movies so at least they got that bit right!

They seem to have employed probably the dodgiest tour guide in New Orleans for this tour and he seems to have no respect for the rules of the swamp. As they are about to set off they are warned from distance that the swamp is closed because of a Victor Crowley character…..

Victor Crowley

Victor Crowley is one of those obvious characters that most top slasher movies base themselves on. Victor is rather unfortunate to have been one of those pretty messed up and deformed characters that kids liked to poke fun at. One night ( many years ago ) a prank played on Victor goes tragically wrong and it costs him his life…….or does it?

No it doesn’t ( obviously ) and our merry band of tourists end up in the same part of the swamp that the twisted Victor now roams.

Well, we all knew that you don’t exactly need a story as broad as the Green Mile to smash out a slasher flick!

Gore Upon Gore

There was something about the 80’s that enticed us to want more and more gore! It didn’t matter how piss poor the story line was we were happy as long as the majority of the hapless school kids got split in half ( and the cute blonde girl survived! ).

That’s long gone now – horror has evolved and so have our tastes ( well mine have anyway! ). Hatchet is a film that throws us into a time machine and puts us right back in the slasher genre. Is this something that viewers want?

Camp Camp Camp

Yeah the film has it’s typical campy horror moments and humor to go along with them. I wasn’t really over the moon with this as it made the majority of the actors shout out ‘I’m not on the Hollywood A-list’.

Kane Hodder

The film did have a secret weapon on it’s side that I was not aware of before sitting down to watch it – Kane Hodder!

Now for all you horror heads out there over the age of eighteen this is a real treat – seeing Kane take on a slasher role again! For those of you that are to young to know I will explain…

Kane Hodder played the iconic role of Jason in the Friday the 13th films ( classic slashers ). He is basically a horror icon and well known throughout the business – a legend!

He is excellent in this film! The character of Victor Crowley is much more athletic than I expected. We have a mongoloid killer who moves at speed and jumps and tears his way through victims without remorse.

This is not a CGI infested film and it’s up to Mr. Hodder to entertain us by ripping up prosthetics and swimming through barrels of blood – this is no Twilight movie!

Conclusion

I understand why Adam Green decided to make this movie and he should be commended for it. But unfortunately like most of the top slasher movies of the 80’s the story line sucked.

I couldn’t get past the fact that this was another boring slasher movie from a genre I thought was long dead.

The acting in some quarters was good ( Moore ) but on the whole the cast was pretty pants. Getting Englund and Hodder in the film was a great achievement but still not enough to keep me that interested.

It wasn’t a terrible film but there are MUCH BETTER indie horror films out there. If you love slasher films then you will love this. If you like a good horror story then you probably will not. I’m pretty much on the fence with this film – it didn’t rock my world….

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